August 6, 2013
Hey Janet Marie,
My ass is about to drop. Been working the Shitty McShit outta this ugly bastard.
Whatever gorilla invented work I’m gonna bust him down with a billy club like a pubescent hoodlum monkey.
Him and the prick who invented currency (although back in the day, my favorite was the Deutsche Mark, I liked the weight of the coins in my hands, roll that shit up in a fabric bag and you got a worlda pain)… anyways where was I? Oh yeah ripping somethin’ somethin’ on the prickspittle (oy! Janet Marie this is my fucking word, I invented it years ago when I read that Sepp Blatter had wanted to put Women’s FIFA in tight shorts and shirts. If I hear that you’ve used this word in some lame ass way or you play it the fuck out like an awesome song on the radio I will tell the whole world you suck my fat ass on a stick through a straw. Sisterbitch don fuck with me. Get your own insults. Take an art class or something, I hear it opens up your creative mind.)
Anyways where the hell was I? Oh yeah the prickspittle that invented money, the thing I have to sell my days for.. he can suckity suck lickity lick my ass.
Anyways I’m sure the sanitation business is prosperous as ever, as the whole world is full of shit.
Give your wife a hug for me, cause everybody knows you spend too much time with the strippers. And to think, you only just recently got the right to get married. I keep telling you if your wife finds out she’ll give you another cleft in your chin. And when she does, my ass is going to laugh the world into an earthquake. I hope she cleans out your bank account good you crackhead, just like Sarkis’ wife did.
Anyways love you much cousin,
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